Pastor Scott's Ceremony Options

Rose Ceremony

In the Rose Ceremony, the Bride & Groom give each other a Rose. Two roses are all that is necessary. The Rose Ceremony is placed at the end of the ceremony just before being pronounced husband and wife. If a Unity Candle Ceremony is included it is placed directly following the Unity Candle Ceremony.

A single red rose is said to mean, “I Love You”. It is appropriate that the first gift as husband and wife should be a single red rose. A rose has always been considered as a symbol of love and a single rose has always meant only one thing – it means “I Love You.” Often, couples will stop on their exit and hand the mother of the bride and groom each their Rose, whispering “I Love You” before proceeding with their exit. Additional roses may also be given to grandparents, sisters and other special guests.

Unity Candle Service

A Unity Candle Ceremony can easily be added to any marriage ceremony. It is placed near the end of the ceremony, following the Exchange of Rings. Mothers usually light the two outer tapers as they are escorted forward at the beginning of the ceremony. A Unity Candle set consists of two tapers and a large center candle.

The two outer tapers represent your individual lives before today. They represent all that you are from your vast experiences, and they represent your individual families. Each of you takes a single taper and lights the center candle, then extinguish your individual candles. This represents the closing of the chapters in your individual “Book of Life” and the beginning of new chapters as you begin to write a new book as husband and wife! In another version, the tapers are left burning, representing that even though you have created a new family, each of you still maintains those characteristics that makes you individually unique.

If you are creating a new family you may want to include the children in the lighting of the Unity Candle. Often this is done by having the bride and groom light the taper for the children and then everyone lighting the center candle together. This is a good way to involve children from a previous marriage.

Breaking A Glass

The traditional Jewish wedding ceremony includes a “breaking of the glass.” Here the Groom, having been offered a glass on a wooden pallet or wrapped in a cloth napkin, smashes it with his foot. The breaking of the glass symbolizes the fragility of life, the fact that whatever we see before us as whole can be broken at any moment. It calls our attention for the need to care for one another; for just as glass can be shattered with a single blow, so the grace of the marriage bond can be shattered with a single act of infidelity or repeated acts of emotional irresponsibility.

Include Creatures Great & Small
You may want to have your pet participate in some way. This is especially common at home and garden marriage ceremonies. I have seen dogs precede a Bride down the aisle as well as serve as “beast man” for the Groom.

Include the Children

If you have children you may want to include them at some point in the ceremony. Often you may just want their names mentioned by the pastor or you may want to include them in a more active role, but be aware that children will not always share your enthusiasm for the wedding. Most of the time children can participate by being a flower girl or a ring bearer of simply by being included in the lighting of the Unity Candle.

Some people give each child a small gift and say a few words to them following the exchanging of rings. Normally the bride and groom present children with a medallion, necklace or other gift following the exchange of rings. In giving a small gift, the bride and groom are symbolizing the fact that love and family are more than the relationship between two people.

Include a Congregation/Family Vow of Support

After reciting your vows you might want me to address your guests and invite them to make a vow of support to you. It is within the context of this community that your marriage will be enacted. For example, I might say, “Now that you have heard ______ and _____ recite their vows, do you, their family and friends, promise, from this day forward to encourage them and love them, and to help guide and support them in being steadfast in the promises they have made?” “We do.”

Jumping a Broom

African-Americans often include the “jumping of the broom” as a part of their wedding ceremony. This normally takes place at the end of the ceremony as the couple is departing. Often the broom is decorated elaborately by the friends and families of the couple.

Wine Ceremony (can be used in place of communion)

The years of life are as a cup of wine poured out for you to drink. This “Cup of Life” contains within it a wine with certain properties that are sweet and symbolic of happiness, joy, hope, peace, love and delight. This same wine also holds some bitter properties that are symbolic of disappointment, sorrow, grief, despair, and life’s trials and tribulations. Together the sweet and the bitter represent “Life’s Journey” and all of the experiences that are a natural part of it. Those who drink deeply from the “Cup of Life” with an open heart and willing spirit, invite the full range of challenges and experiences into their being.

(Pastor pours wine into goblet and holds it up.)
This “Cup of Life” is symbolic of the pledges you have made to one another to share together the fullness of life. As you drink from this cup, you acknowledge to one another that your lives, until this moment separate, have become one with the Holy Spirit. (Pastor hands glass to groom, who drinks, then hands it to bride, who drinks, who passes it back to pastor.)

As you have shared the wine from these goblets, so may you share your lives. May you find life’s joys heightened, it’s bitterness sweetened, and all of life enriched by God’s blessings upon you.

Pass the Peace

One of the most romantic and heart warming ceremony elements is the Passing of the Peace. There are several ways to do this, but in my version, I have found that adding it to the lighting of the unity candle ceremony works well. Instead of lighting the unity tapers prior to the ceremony, the mothers are invited up to light them during the ceremony. The mother’s then light another taper from the unity taper and then proceed back to their side of the aisle, where they “Pass the Peace (Light)” to the first person in their row, who in turn passes it to the next, while saying “peace be with you.” (This requires handing out the candles prior to the ceremony as guests are seated). After all candles are lit and the lights dimmed, the pastor asks the congregation to vow their support and love to the bride and groom.